Imagines...

Imagine 7+ yrs of fertility issues and TTC.

Imagine that test that finally said "positive"!

Imagine in your naive world a thought of a preemie was a couple weeks early or "something".

Imagine laboring at 23.5 wks when just a few days early all was well and you were told you were having a baby girl.

Imagine doctors and specialists coming to your room to tell you if you don't make it to that 24 wk mark there will be no attempt to resusitate.

Imagine your baby girl coming at 24.2 wks and 1 lb 9 ozs.

Imagine seeing your baby for the first time (hours after birth) with more tubes, hoses, machines and needles than body.

Imagine you were told you couldn't touch her or hold her as it sent her into convulsions with any stimulation.

Imagine the doctors telling you at 2 days of life that she had a pulmanary hemmhorage and to the degree only about 50% of healthy babies make it through and she wouldn't live through the night.

Imagine the doctors coming to you twice in the first 2 wks to suggest signing a DNR and letting your baby go.

Imagine watching her go through a 6 wk bone treatment to try and prevent having to amputate her right arm.

Imagine not hearing your baby cry for 2 months.

Imagine not getting to hold your baby even for a minute until exactly 2 mths of age to the severity of her health.

Imagine that day you got to hold her for the first time. Imagine the day she was moved from the critical area to the open nicu.

Imagine the day they told you if she starts to gain well she will be coming home in the next 1-2 wks.

Imagine the day you got to bring her home (3 days before her due date) on oxygen, a pharmacy of your own, monitors, breathing treatments, etc...

Imagine at a yr of age she was the size of your full term boys at 2 months of age.

Imagine nearly 5 years later she has had more surgeries and procedures than most do in their entire life.

Imagine that fear of handing her back to the doctors after the nicu ride each time she has had to have something else done.

Imagine nearly 5 yrs later an ex preemie who is on a feeding button, dx'd legally blind, no speech, extreme SID, severe behavioral issues, and still faces a mountain of obstacles.

But then imagine..... the doctors told you she wouldn't live through the night, suggested a DNR twice, the doctors told you she'd never have use of her lower body (let her kick you), she'd never walk, etc...

Imagine the strength, determination, and love Casandra has brought and taught our family.

Imagine a mountain that seems so high but once you were told your daughter would never even be able to touch, you are still far from the top and will most likely never reach the top but you have indeed climbed a great distance.

Nicole T.